7

Mother fucking smokers in the workplace. It's bad enough that I have to sit beside you in a meeting and smell your cigarette funk and watch your yellowed fingers grow increasingly restless playing with your pen as the nicotine monkey riding your back shrieks for a fix. But I will NOT cut my meeting short just so you can creep outside for a smoke. Nor will I build smoke breaks into the agenda. You may have played that request off as a joke, Captain Cancer Sticks, but we both know it wasn't.

I have a fucking job to do. And that job does not include putting my meeting on hold for you to light up every hour on the hour, Joe Camel. However, I'm making it my job from now on to call attention to the fact that you slink out of every meeting to go light up.

I'm not even going to mention the fact that you've got work that was due to me last week I haven't seen hide nor hair of. Maybe if you weren't outside smoking for 15 minutes of every hour, you'd get your shit done on time. It's called working, you should try it sometime.

That's it - I'm going to take up smoking just so I can work 25% less.