27.

Women in public restrooms who pee with such force it sounds like they're in there playing California firefighter. I don't know why this ... uh ... pisses me off so much, but it really drives me crazy. I don't need to hear that. If you're within range for normal human urethral diameter and aren't pregnant (or in some other way diseased) I shouldn't feel like I need to duck and cover when you whiz.

Also, the lady at work who grunts/groans when she sits down on or stands up from the toilet seat. Wtf is wrong with you?

26.

People who use the handicap door openers who are not handicapped. Laziness is not a handicap. Stupidity is though, so I guess you're okay after all.

25.

The phrase "my bad."

24.

My soon to be new co-worker. Yes, I know that you're "really excited" that I'm joining your team at the first of the year. It shows. However, I'm married. Sending me an email, then trotting over to my desk to see if I've read it 5 minutes later is just a little too eager - you might want to tone it down a notch. Or three. I'm married, you know. I think I may have mentioned that.


I've worked here for 18 months now. I had never seen you before my interview, and now you're strolling by my desk 3-4 times a day. You're offering to accompany me to get coffee. Did I mention I'm married? And my wonderful husband works on the same floor of the same building as us? And he's on his way over here now to kick your ass?


Also, you bear a vague resemblance to Bill Paxton. Ewww.